A Relational Approach to Developmental Trauma

NARM (NeuroAffective Relational Model) is a specialized approach for working with developmental and complex trauma—the kind that doesn't always come from a single traumatic event, but from what was missing, inconsistent, or overwhelming in your early environment and relationships.

If you grew up feeling unseen, unsafe, or like you had to be someone other than yourself to be loved, this depth oriented approach, can help you understand how those early experiences shaped the way you relate to yourself and others today.

What Makes my approach Different?

Traditional trauma therapy often focuses on specific events or symptoms. NARM looks at something deeper: the adaptive survival strategies you developed to cope with early relational wounds—and how those strategies are limiting your life now.

In NARM therapy, we don't pathologize your struggles. We recognize them as intelligent adaptations. The work is about:

• Building capacity to be present with emotions and sensations you've learned to avoid or disconnect from

• Identifying survival patterns that once protected you but now create disconnection, anxiety, or relational difficulties

• Restoring connection to your body, your needs, your authentic self, and others

• Working in the present moment while honoring how the past lives in your nervous system and relational patterns

It is not about reliving trauma or analyzing the past endlessly. It's about understanding how early adaptations show up right now—in your relationships, your sense of self, your capacity to feel—and giving you the tools to choose differently.

The Five Adaptive Survival Styles

NARM identifies five adaptive survival styles—each rooted in core developmental needs. When these needs are chronically unmet in childhood, we develop survival strategies to manage the disconnection and dysregulation we experience. Most people use a combination of these styles. These aren't diagnoses or pathologies—they're creative adaptations:

1. Connection – Struggling to feel embodied, present, or connected to self and others; tendency toward dissociation or withdrawal

2. Attunement – Difficulty recognizing, expressing, or feeling your own needs deserve to be met; often highly attuned to others while neglecting yourself

3. Trust – Hyper-independence, difficulty allowing healthy dependence on others, needing to stay in control

4. Autonomy – Difficulty setting boundaries or saying no, people-pleasing, feeling burdened by others' needs, inner conflict between compliance and rebellion

5. Love-Sexuality – Difficulty integrating an open heart with vital sexuality; self-worth based on performance or appearance; perfectionism

In our work together, we'll explore which patterns are most present for you—and how they're impacting your relationships, your sense of self, and your quality of life.

What to Expect in NARM Therapy Sessions

NARM is a relational, present-focused therapy. That means:

• We work in real-time: I'll help you notice what's happening in your body, emotions, and thoughts as we talk

• The relationship matters: How you relate to me in session often mirrors how you relate to others—we use that awareness therapeutically

• You stay in the driver's seat: NARM is collaborative. You're not a passive recipient of treatment; we work together to understand your patterns and build new capacities

• We go at your pace: This work requires safety. We move slowly, building your capacity to tolerate emotions and sensations without becoming overwhelmed

Sessions are typically 50-60 minutes and can be weekly or biweekly depending on your needs and availability.

Who Benefits from NARM Therapy?

NARM is particularly helpful if you:

• Experience chronic anxiety, depression, or emotional numbness that doesn't seem tied to specific events

• Struggle with attachment patterns—feeling overly dependent on others or fiercely independent and unable to ask for help

• Find yourself repeating relational patterns that leave you feeling unseen, unheard, or unsatisfied

• Have a history of developmental trauma: neglect, emotional unavailability, enmeshment, or inconsistent caregiving

• Feel disconnected from your body or have difficulty identifying your own emotions and needs

• Carry deep shame or a persistent belief that something is fundamentally wrong with you

• Are dealing with complex PTSD from ongoing relational trauma rather than a single event

My Training & Approach

I am trained in the NeuroAffective Relational Model (NARM) and integrate this approach with somatic awareness, attachment theory, and trauma-informed care. My work is grounded in the belief that healing happens in relationship—when you feel truly seen, heard, and accepted.

I bring both professional training and lived experience to this work. I know what it's like to feel stuck in old patterns, to carry shame, to struggle with anxiety and self-judgment. I also know what it's like to heal—and I'm here to walk that path with you.

Other Approaches I Use

While NARM is the foundation of my practice, I also draw from:

• Somatic (body-based) approaches to help you reconnect with your body's wisdom

• Attachment theory to understand relational patterns

• Mindfulness and compassion practices to build self-awareness and self-kindness

• Parts work when appropriate, to work with different aspects of self

• AEDP - A highly relational, somatic and emotion focused style of therapy

Starting Therapy: What You Need to Know

Session length: 50-60 minutes
Frequency: Weekly or biweekly (we'll determine what works best for you)
Format: In-person or online sessions available
Investment: $140 per session | Sliding scale options available

Common Questions

How long does therapy take?
This varies. Some clients find relief in a few months; others work with me for a year or longer. NARM is not a quick fix—it's deep, relational work that unfolds at your pace.

Do I need to have experienced "capital-T trauma" to benefit from NARM?
No. NARM is designed for developmental and relational trauma, which is often subtler but just as impactful. If you struggle with shame, disconnection, or repeating patterns, NARM can help.

What if I've tried therapy before and it didn't work?
Many of my clients have. NARM offers something different—it's not just about insight or coping strategies. It's about rewiring the nervous system and relational patterns at a deeper level.

Is NARM evidence-based?
NARM integrates decades of research on trauma, attachment, and neuroscience. While it's a newer modality, it's rooted in well-established therapeutic principles and continues to be studied and refined.

Ready to Begin?

If you're looking for a therapist in Vancouver who can help you understand your patterns, build capacity for connection, and move toward a more authentic, embodied life, I'd love to hear from you.